Dan Hibiki, the “Strongest Man in the World” — or so he claims. But let’s face it, folks, Dan is less of a fighter and more of a stand-up comedian who wandered into the Street Fighter ring by accident. If you’re even considering picking Dan, you might want to rethink your life choices.
First off, let’s talk about his strength, or should I say, lack thereof. Dan’s punches and kicks feel more like mosquito bites than powerful strikes. I’ve seen kittens with more ferocity in their claw swipes. Trying to win with Dan is like trying to extinguish a forest fire with a squirt gun.
But that’s not all, folks. Dan has the unique talent of being incredibly unsafe. It’s as if he’s daring his opponents to block his moves so they can punish him without breaking a sweat. If you’re picking Dan, you might as well hand your opponent a notarized certificate of victory.
Predictability is Dan’s middle name, and it’s not a good look. His playstyle is about as complex as a straight line, and anyone with a basic understanding of Street Fighter can see right through his so-called “strategy.” It’s like trying to bluff with a pair of deuces in a high-stakes poker game. Good luck with that.
And let’s not forget his “stubby” little limbs. Dan, it’s time to face the truth: you’ll never reach your opponent if they’re even slightly cautious. You might as well be trying to high-five a cloud.
In conclusion, Dan Hibiki is the embodiment of overconfidence and underperformance. Choosing him in Street Fighter is like choosing a toothpick to defend yourself from a charging bull. Sure, there may be a few die-hard Dan fans out there who have managed to scrape together some wins, but let’s be real, they’re the exception, not the rule. If you value your dignity and your win-loss ratio, steer clear of Dan Hibiki and pick someone with a shred of actual fighting prowess. Your opponents will thank you.
Number 3. F.A.N.G.
